Let me tell a Kutty Story…

Sivaram Kumar
4 min readFeb 26, 2020

DISCLAIMER : Smoking Causes Cancer. Smoking Kills

Instructions for usage: Best read after having heard or hearing this awesome song either once or Heaven may know how many times on loop.

What would you do when your bike breaks down in the middle of nowhere at 1 AM?

TLDR;
If you want take it
Or else venam tension
Leave it baby

The time was 1 AM.
And I was in the middle of nowhere;
Nowhere in the middle of this one beautiful Outer Ring Road

Outer Ring Road, Chennai

Enna na english-u
Just listen bro

The accelerator cable got jammed and the bike was roaring even without me touching her right hand.

I was angry with myself for having gone out for a smoke that late.
It all began when I went out for a ride just to get a damn smoke around 11:30 pm. ( I, surely didn’t feel damn-ed when I laid hands on it finally ).

What I didn’t consider was the endless re-alterations of the GST road. The ‘take diversions’ took me from Urapakkam to Perungaluthur.
Now, I was scared to make a U-turn just by looking at the sheer volume of Omnibuses on the other side, another factor which I didn’t consider.

An idea cropped up in my mind. Why not take the Outer Ring Road where I’ve been to, before, at this time of night just to look at the gleaming lights and the odd flight passing by with visible dust particles in its headlight glow. Yes, it is visible to the naked eyes from the road.

So, there I was, just in time as the shopkeeper was about to close it. I got my smoke with a picturesque moon in sight opposite to me.

I got what I wanted but the heart never stops there, right? I took my motorcycle and sped through the outer ring road

Speed ah pona Gavanam must-u

So I slow down, click a few pics but

Slow-va pona steadyum must-u

Okay, maybe I wasn’t steady, ending up with a jammed accelerator.

Just when I was about to lose my cool trying out the ‘traditional hitting the TV remote for a dead battery to work kinda’ mechanics on her, I remember

Anger always misery baby…
Friends ah ninna powerful mappi

I take out my mobile and ring my friend who doesn’t hesitate to borrow a bike and come pick me up at 1 AM in the middle of nowhere ( though he didn’t know I was 30 km away from home when I called)

Meanwhile, I started to push my bike to the adjacent service road, when a generous motorbiker stopped by and offered help.

I started ranting to him that I’m far from home and about the weird problems that I have been facing with my bike for some time now.
He replies with a smile

Very many problems will come and go.
Just chill pannu mappi

This is when I realise it’s not a worse situation to be in. I got what I came for, only that my friend wanted to be playing his X-box games ( especially after a long Valentine date ) instead.

As I waited for my friend an SUV stopped by, making a U-turn just to ask directions which I didn’t know for obvious reasons. Even as the SUV moved on, the guy inside mumbled some O-words, reminding me of people we come across in life,

Don’t be the person spreading hatred mappi,
Pinnadi pesuradhu romba crappy

I start to tow my bike with my friend who arrived shortly after. After about 15 km of towing, we took a break. This is when my friend comes up with an idea.

“Etuku hard work, we will do smart work”, and cuts off the cable from the accelerator handle after half an hour’s struggle.

‘ It didn’t work! ‘

And what did we miss?

Hard work-um venum.
Smart work-um venum.
Self valuation adha panni paaren

When I look back at the whole episode,
Many things need not have happened.
My urge to smoke, the GST road alterations, the Omnibus traffic, the highway shop being open at midnight or me being hung up on the ‘First Bike’ sentiment instead of replacing it beforehand.

Even if one of them hadn’t happened in the first place, I would not have ended up in that situation.
But that’s not how life works,
which is for you to realise,

Focus on what you dream and
Don’t worry mappi,
Positivity unna lift panum baby

“Life is a Boat — whatever hardships cometh the sea, Keep Rowing”

We start to tow again after our little experiment backfired and I showed my friend the spot where the flights usually fly by above us proudly saying this is what I came for.

He gave me the “Let me kill you first” look throwing in a few cuss words.

If I hadn’t gone out that night or everything had gone as expected I wouldn’t have been in that situation to be telling a story here,

So, friends! All I wanted to say is

Life is very short nanba…
Always be happy

Though my friend was like

That was my kutty story
How was my kutty story
That was my kutty story
How was my kutty story

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